Selfishness Within

We are born to be selfish. We learn self-gratification from the moment we are born and we never change in our desire to please ourselves at the expense of others. A baby is born and the first thing the baby does is cry because he is now uncomfortable. As soon as he gets what he wants, which is to be wrapped up and kept warm, he stops crying. The moment he becomes uncomfortable the crying starts again.
Self-preservation is among our most basic instincts. A baby does not care about anyone else. The baby simply wants his needs addressed. Nothing else matters. I am hungry. I need to be changed. I am tired. The baby is not concerned about the needs of the mother, father, or any other bystander. From the moment we are born, we know that all that matters is “me”.
As we get older, this does not change. We may learn to be more socially acceptable in our desire to fulfill our personal desires, but everything we ever do is about fulfilling our personal desires.
A toddler has a friend take a toy from him. Does he feel good for the friend for now having a very nice toy to play with? No. He will either start crying to express his displeasure, or he will lash out physically against his friend to get what he wants.

A teenager tries out for the cheerleading squad. She finds out that she makes the team. Her friend, who was cut from the team, is heartbroken and cries over the defeat. Does the teenager who made the team step down from her spot so her friend can experience the joy of making the team? Of course not. She is not going to sacrifice her personal happiness just to make her friend happy.

An adult sees on TV that there are starving children in Ethiopia. He decides that he wants to do his part to help out, so he whips out his checkbook and writes a $20 check to the charity trying to help. He gets a sense of warmth and good feeling for donating money. Does he feel so good about helping that he is willing to write a $1000 check instead? No, he is saving up for that big screen TV and if he gave that much he could never afford the TV.
People will do for others as long as it makes them feel good themselves. Everything we do in life is for personal satisfaction. Even in times where we may momentarily inconvenience ourselves, it is still for the greater personal satisfaction. Childbirth and caring for children is a great example of this. People have children because they want children. People are not having children for the benefit of anyone beside themselves. It fulfills them personally. Childbirth is an extremely painful experience that women go through, but they choose to do it because of the joy they think their children will bring to them. It is not for the child. It is not for society. It is for them. As the child grows, the parent will make personal sacrifices for the child, but this is to make the parent feel good. It is not for the benefit of the child. How many parents will take the nice TV in the family room and send the children to the small TV in the bedroom? Are the parents willing to sacrifice their own personal comfort of the recliner and big TV for their children? No. There would be no personal joy in giving the kids the good TV and taking the small one, but it would provide more joy for the children.
If selfishness were not a basic instinct the world would be completely different. There would be no crime. There would be no war. There would be no famine. There would be no competition of any kind.
To put a spin on Gordon Gecko from the movie Wall Street, “selfishness is good”. If people were not innately selfish and actually wanted to always do for the greater good of society, we would not have a society. Society would crumble. All businesses would fail because they would never make profits and would never grow. There would be no competition to help society advance. There would be no leadership because people would not want to make decisions that might hurt other people’s feelings. Things get done because people are looking out for their own personal interests. Maybe their interest is financial advancement. Maybe their interest is acclaim. Maybe their interest is personal satisfaction. It doesn’t matter the reason why people are doing things for themselves. The end result is that society is actually much better off by people being selfish. Other people want what we want. As long as they keep trying to get what we have, they will be motivated to advance.